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Bereavement Counselling

 

“Give sorrow words.  The grief that does not speak

Whispers the o’er fraught heart, and bids it break”

William Shakespeare – Macbeth

 

The loss of friends, lovers, partners, relatives, colleagues people even pets whom we love, will strike every one of us at some point in our lives.

Yet although death is a natural certainty of our living, how we experience a particular loss and the feelings which may arise from it may be very different and vary enormously from individual to individual. What may be consoling words for one person may be sentimental pap for another. What may be a significant symbol for someone may evoke no response in someone else.

Often, how we experience a death is conditioned by the relationship we had with the person who has died and the circumstances of their death. For example, when a parent dies it may bring to the surface family dynamics, which had previously been suppressed, such as difficult relations with the parent or between relatives who are left behind. We may feel anger towards the person who died for leaving us bereaved and alone. When someone has committed suicide feelings such as anger, rejection, shame, fear may be especially intense. These feelings may make us feel guilty or ashamed because we may feel that they are ‘inappropriate’ or ‘wrong’. Sometimes, the grief we experience can be so painful and intense that despite our best efforts we just can’t ‘get over’ it. As time passes we may feel as if close relatives and friends don’t want to listen to us any more. Profound, lasting grief can be especially painful as we can end up feeling isolated and alone in coping with bereavement, not wishing to be a ‘burden’ to friends and relatives who we may imagine have ‘moved on’.

While grieving over loss is a necessary and natural process, many people lack the bereavement support they need to help resolve the pain of mourning. Indeed, sometimes grief arises as the cause or appears as the surface to other more complex problems.

Whatever the particular circumstances, bereavement counselling can be helpful to ease us through the grieving process; to help us confront the sometimes complex emotional issues that may arise; to help us feel less alone when we feel as if we have no one we can turn to.

I have specialist training and experience as a bereavement counsellor having worked for many years with Camden, City, Islington and Westminster Bereavement Service. Please contact me in confidence to discuss your needs.